Walking in Your Season

Our opening scriptural verse for today is, Ecclesiastes 3:1 “To every thing there is a season, and a time for every purpose under heaven.”

Today's message for September 26, 2017 is, Understanding Your Season

As we read in Ecclesiastes 3 there are many seasons. A time to be born and a time to die. A time to reap and a time to sow. A time to gain and a time to lose. A time to be silent and a time to speak. A time to weep, and a time to laugh. A time to mourn and a time to dance. A time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing. A time to love and a time to hate. A time for war and a time for peace. And there are many other seasons that we can think of that are not mentioned, but one of the seasons that I want to focus on today is, a time to embrace and a to refrain from embracing.

Many might say or think, “I thought we should be loving and embrace all the time?” However, that is not entirely correct. My main focus today is geared around relationships. We all have different relationships. We have a relationship with our parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles, other relatives, friends, children, neighbors, co-workers, student-teacher, and in-laws. And there is a season for each of these under the heavens, but some of those relationships mentioned, will come to an end.

If we begin with student-teacher relationships we understand that those type of relationships are only developed during the course of your learning. For instance, if you're in college, you might have a teacher for a semester and when that semester has ended, you are no longer in a student-teacher relationship. Your co-workers are only your co-workers during the time you are working together with the same company. If you and one of your co-workers become friends and one of you leaves the company, you are no longer co-workers, but rather friends.

If you live next door to a person or across the street, that person is your neighbor. When one of you relocates, you are no longer neighbors. By chance, if you happen to see that person somewhere, they are no longer your neighbor, but rather your former neighbor.

Your family members will always be your family members, even if your relationship with them is not close. Due to bloodlines and/or adoptions they will always be considered your relatives. Your in-laws are your in-laws when you are married. Should you get a divorce they are no longer your in-laws, but rather your ex's mother, father, sister, brother or your former in-laws. If you have developed a friendship, then they would be considered your friend, rather than an in-law or former in-law.

I think some of you may know where I am going with this.

Now, when talk about seasons we must understand the season that we are in and how it relates to those around us. Hence, life isn't all about us and what we want. As we walk in wisdom we have to consider those around us as well. In other words, we must take into account a reversed scenario. As in how would you feel if the situation was reversed?

Oftentimes, we stay in a season longer than we should and we exit a season earlier than we should. For example, how many of you know someone who still has a relationship with their ex's family? I'm not talking about one or two members, but many. When there is a family gathering they are there. Holidays, birthdays, graduations... they are there. When there is no family gathering, they are around. How many of you have heard someone say, “Oh, it's because of the children.” But what happens when there are no children or the children are grown?

You can refer to a season as a room with a revolving door. And I say revolving door because we have choices and free-will and many of us go back through the revolving door. But how many of you know, that's not healthy all the time? But let's not get that confused with finishing what we have started; hence, sometimes we must go back in order to move forward. But when we are referring to seasons, we must move forward. We live life backwards, for we remember our past; however, we must live our life forward.

When we talk about a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing we are referring to a season for both. When your son or daughter has married it is a season for you as a parent to embrace your son or daughter-in-law. Not to be over-bearing, but to genuinely attempt to know your son or daughter-in-law. If they are recently married, that is the season you and them are in. The season of embracing.

If your sibling has gotten married or re-married, it is a season for you to get to know your brother or sister-in-law. That is the season of developing and embracing that relationship. If an ex is constantly in the picture, the season for embracing has been turned into doubt and question. We all have individuals whom we click with more than others. But I have often wondered if it's because we haven't taken the time to form a relationship with those whom we do not click with from the beginning.

Some relationships take off right from the start and some need time to marinate. That's why it's so important to understand the season that you're in. For those relationships that need time to marinate that is the season for developing, nurturing and strengthening that relationship.

Take a moment and think about your relationships. Those individuals whom you clicked with right from the beginning, are they still in your life today? How are they in your life today? Is the relationship strong, filled with trust and faithfulness? How many of you are still friends with a person whom you didn't really like at first?

Oftentimes, we move on too fast and fill our mind with assumptions and speculations with those relationships that needed time to marinate. We tend to follow those whom we are already connected with. We listen to hearsay and we follow our own understanding of what we believe to be true. And when people do that, many times they come to an understanding or have a wake-up call or revelation saying, “Oh, my goodness what have I done?!” And although they may have gotten this revelation, perhaps years later, the season for marinating may have ended.

It's important to understand the season that you're in.

Have you said or have heard someone say, “If they don't want to be my friend or get to know me that is their loss?” What you will find is, if you're honest, and you take a step back for a moment, those who make assumptions and speculations don't make statements as the one above. Those who are non-judgmental, usually with a welcoming heart, makes a statement as such. Understanding the season that you're in, also includes having the wisdom to discern the type of person who is in the season with you. Not being wise in your own understanding, but having the wisdom to discern the person and season.

Sometimes we can stay in a season longer than we should. As parents we tend to take a liking to our son or daughter-in-law, but when that relationship has ended in divorce and there's another spouse, it is time to recognize the season for embracing and refraining from the former. And what this means is, your heart is bigger for both, but respecting that which is now.

As an ex, you might still love, still want to keep the relationships that you have formed, but you must respect that which is now, which does not necessarily include the former. For if the shoe was on the other foot, you would want the same treatment. It is important to understand your season.

When we hold on to seasons longer than we should, chances are, we are not growing in love or maturity. Have you ever looked back on your high school friends and noticed that some of them are still doing or acting the same as they did while in high school? It may be twenty or thirty years later and you don't see a difference other than a few pounds give or take.

Embrace the season that you're in. Grow in love and maturity and wisdom. Then when that season has ended, walk proudly through that revolving door and keep moving forward. Don't allow anyone to pull you back into their season, for their season may not be your season. People who hold on to a season... need company. That is why we read in Ecclesiastes 3:5 , “...there's a time to refrain from embracing.” Meaning to be far from. This not only includes the season but those in the season as well.

This is the journey of the soul. When you move on, you move on in spirit and in truth. Knowing that you did all that you could do to embrace the season you were in, qualifies you to move on to the next journey. And that is the next season.

Until next time.

Books to add to your library!

The Virtuous Woman's Diary: Spiritual Warfare for Woman by Von Cook

The Power to Raise the Dead by Von Cook